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We’ve all been taught to lead the conversation, but listening is the more powerful position in communication. It’s how you learn about and connect with someone.  

  Neuroscience shows that when a speaker and a listener are feeling a connection, their brain waves are actually in sync, said Kate Murphy, author of the new book, “You're Not Listening: What You're Missing and Why It Matters.” A psychologist told her it’s like experiencing “snatches of magic.”  

  To be a good listener, think of yourself as a detective in the conversation. Everyone is interesting if you ask the right questions, Murphy said. Remember, you already know about you so resist shifting the chat back to yourself.  

  Follow the link to see the best questions to ask and how to come back from “mental side trips” during a conversation.
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