Maria Shriver has made a name for herself as an award-winning journalist, author, Alzheimer's research advocate and entrepreneur. But when she was young, she often felt "invisible" being part of such a famous family, she recently recalled.
Shriver was a featured speaker at TODAY's Making Space Wellness Weekend with Hoda Kotb, sponsored by Miraval Resorts & Spas, on Oct. 26. She joined Hoda, a close friend, to talk about how she was able to find meaning in her life.
"Growing up in a very competitive, well-known family, you could either be subsumed by it, or you have to leave," the TODAY contributor reflected.
She ended up making the latter choice in a different few ways — by physically leaving her East Coast roots when she moved to Los Angeles, and by professionally separating herself when she pursued journalism instead of politics.
"As I’ve looked back on it, I was doing that, I think, to find my own air, to find my own breath, actually, to find my own way," Shriver said, adding that she knows her choices were often difficult for her parents, Eunice Kennedy Shriver and Robert Sargent Shriver Jr.
"But I knew I couldn't stay and survive," she continued. "I knew I couldn't stay and ... become my own person and know why I was here if I was just following in this preordained path of my family. And that has always been my desire, my search: Why am I here? How am I different from this group of people?"
Shriver said such questions first popped up for her growing up, when she was "just confused with everybody," she shared.
"It was like, 'Which Kennedy Are you? You have hair, you have teeth, you're just one of all of these other people.' That was funny, but also actually sad because it it robbed you of being a person in yourself. And so I never felt like I was Maria."
"So I think my whole drive was like, 'Who is Maria?' Talking to people, interviewing people (and) in a way interviewing myself has been a journey to answer that question," she added.
Being part a famous family, as well as marrying a movie star, translated to some powerful lessons for raising her own four kids: Katherine Schwarzenegger, 34, Christina Schwarzenegger, 33, Patrick Schwarzenegger, 31, and Christopher Schwarzenegger, 27.
"For me, it was really important that I raise children who felt like they were a priority in a public family," Shriver said. "I wanted to guard their privacy. I wanted to make sure they were not part of political pamphlets, that they were not used as props, that they were the stars of our home ... that they feel they were of equal importance to whatever their mom or dad was doing, that they were valued, that they were four distinct individuals, but also collectively a family."
"Regardless of what their dad was doing, or what I was doing, or what family they came from, (I wanted them to know) what they were doing was important, and that continues to be ... something that I take super seriously — to make sure that they feel that whatever they're doing isn't overshadowed by what their parents are doing, and that's an ongoing piece of work."
As part of TODAY’s Making Space Wellness Weekend with Hoda Kotb, Shriver, 68 also spoke to the intimate crowd about the importance of maintaining a sense of purpose as you age, something she discusses in her new book, "I Am Maria," to be released in April 2025.
"I think we're all here to change our society, to change our culture, and we do that with how we live our lives, with how we use our voices and how we conduct ourselves," Shriver told the audience. "The only way to reframe aging, to reframe what it means to be a woman in her 60s, to reframe what it means to be a mother, what it means to be a professional, what it means to live a meaningful life, is to just do it."
