One dad is answering to TikTok outrage over a tribute to his overwhelmed wife.
"Today, I walked in on my wife working out while our newborn napped," Phil Mackenzie, 35, of Ontario, Canada, captioned a viral TikTok video of his wife Brodie exercising at home.
"Our house was a disaster. Dishes needed to be cleaned. Laundry needed to be done," he wrote. "And a million other things she felt she had to do. Yet, I could not be more proud. She instead decided to take just a little time to herself that she deserved 10 times over."
"Always remember that YOU DESERVE time to yourself," continued Phil, the founder of a fitness app. "The mess and chores can always wait, but your mental health should never be sacrificed."
The appreciation behind Phil's message was quickly engulfed by appalled comments.
"Um please help her????" someone wrote.
"Dude? Try pitching in," another user added.
"This video alone is my nightmare," wrote a viewer. "Someone watching it pile on me and just clap… congrats to me for keeping it together?"
More responded, "Step up my guy," "Are we back in the 50’s??" and "YOU LIVE THERE TOO."
Phil had some in his camp.
"Why is everyone in this comment section coming for him for trying to have a sweet genuine moment?" asked a commenter. "This probably made her day to see."
Phil tells TODAY.com that the video showed one moment with his wife of 10 years, with whom he shares sons Hudson, 5, twins Preston and Boden, 2, and Ashton, 3 months.
"We try to show the real side of parenting in our videos," he says, adding that he and Brodie are a team.
Brodie tells TODAY.com that she watched Phil’s video and read his caption before he posted on TikTok.
“Some of the comments were hilarious but I felt guilty because he didn’t deserve the backlash,” she says.
That morning, Brodie snuck in a workout before she tidied up during Phil’s work meetings. “I get anxiety when my home is messy and that holds me back from exercising,” she says. “Phil was showing how proud he was that I left the mess until we could clean together.”
The couple work from home and split the housework and childcare — Phil shuttles their children to and from daycare and school when Brodie is slammed with her marketing job, and she is currently the primary caretaker of their breastfeeding newborn.
"It's not a one-way street — and I would never want it that way, otherwise there's resentment," he says. "We split the load, but it's always evolving."
Based on the 19-second clip, says Phil, some claimed he is body shaming his wife into losing weight, which he says was not his intention. "For us, exercise is for our mental health," he explains.
According to three Gallup polls conducted in 2019, full-time working mothers are a lot more likely than full-time working fathers to clean the house, prepare meals and do laundry. Moms kept it up, even when many parents worked remotely during the pandemic, noted a Yale study.
"Moms should put themselves first," Phil says. "If I can help someone make that mind shift and let the mess wait, that's a win."
